Joke of the Day .....

[Tim Watts]

BLOKE IN HIS ARMCHAIR SHOUTS TO HIS WIFE "WHEN I DIE I'M GOING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU, LOVE"

SHE SHOUTS BACK "YOU ALREADY DO, YOU LAZY BASTARD!!"

[Tim Watts]

Just for Mick Murf.........


Russell, the poofta, goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

The doctor comes back and says, "Russell , I'm not going to beat around the  bush. You have AIDS."

Russell is devastated.. "Doc, what can I do"?

"Eat 1  curry sausage, 1 head of Cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno  Peppers, 40 walnuts and  40 peanuts, 1/2 box Of All Bran, And top it off with a litre of  prune juice", the doctor replies.

Russell asks bewildered, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a  better understanding of what your ARSE is for!"

[Les Williams]

So Liverpool have finally taken home a trophy after 6 years, The Carling cup.

A bit like being single for 6 years and then bringing home Susan Boyle.

[Les Williams]

Reports suggest another dust cloud has affected flights over the NorthWest UK.
The cause has been traced to Liverpool FC opening the door of their trophy cabinet