Competing with Katie
On a cold afternoon, in mid winter, in an old public house, in North Wales.
Myself and some friends sat there talking, and sampling all the fine ales.
The talk was diverse and enlightening, we covered foul subjects and fair.
But the topic soon settled on gender, and how men and women compare.
The lads thought their gender was strongest, and the girls were, well, pretty, but daft.
The girls were appalled at this outrage, with hindsight, we should never have laughed
But the girls said that all, men were stupid, they had waved a red rag at a bull.
The tension became competition, each gender was praised to the full.
Then, Katie proclaimed, she would match, any task, that I, or, any man, chose.
This seemed like a good time to end this affray, so up to the challenge, I rose.
I had happened on this, observation, when relieving myself in a field.
I could write out my name, in pee, in the snow, so a challenge to Katie was sealed
When Katie accepted, I have to admit, I was, more than a little surprised.
But a beer mat, and pen were procured, and the terms of the contest devised.
We would each drink one pint of cider, then pee out, our names in the snow.
The loser would pay for the beer, and the best man, or, woman, we’d know.
The news soon spread, round the village, and a crowd gathered round to behold.
To witness a contest like this, it was worth coming out, in the cold.
So I drank down my quantum of cider and stepped out with the gathering throng.
Where a place had been marked in the snow, two feet wide, and seven feet long.
I sprinkled my name with precision, with a capital D at the start.
A capital T in the middle, the full stop, the most difficult part.
Then everyone waited for Katie, that’s what they had all come to see.
But when she appeared, she was carrying, a large plastic jug of her wee.
I started to have reservations, as she poured out her name in one go.
A magnificent work in italics, in yellow, against the white snow.
The judges soon made their decision, as dejection, crept into my soul.
My heart was as heavy as dumplings, and Katie had taken my goal.
I protested of course at this cheating, no jug could I see in the rules.
Precisely said Katie triumphant, and we, told you that all men are fools.
In the pub, there was standing room only, not a stool or a chair could be found.
The landlord was happy, as ever I’ve seen, but I, had pay, for the round.
Brilliant. we will never know how your mind works Doug! (I'm not technically talking to you at the moment after you condemned my wood burner last week!) :angry:
[quote="Sweetie" post=22042]Brilliant. we will never know how your mind works Doug! (I'm not technically talking to you at the moment after you condemned my wood burner last week!) :angry:[/quote]
Sorry Rob, I didnt know that was yours, but you would'nt want a thin boiler that leaks after a few months, if you want to get the boiler off Mark I will fix it if you like. :ohmy:
Cheers Doug. It did make me chuckle when I found out it was you who tested it, sounds like I had a close call with that one. I'll pop up and chat to you about it or I might even venture out caving this week :woohoo: After all, my house is that cold I might pop underground for a warm ;)