United Cavers Exploration Team

attending /

andy-j : narrator and loiterer

tim : rigging hero , contributer to the UCET  profanisaurus and grumpy old man

adam : whining caver

dan [ not sutton - but whines just the same ] : crying caver

this was the culmination of 3 trips in 4 days - i am fooked

as tim wanted to take 2 of his climbing associates on a " rope work intensive " trip - with the caveat - nice and dry [ as neither of his mates have proper cave gear - neo-socks / furry / oversuits or wetsuits ] - options were limited and i could not think of anything better than tims first chouce - marble steps

 thus we had a plan A

my monday outing with the little green men had interesting excursions up leck fell after blizzards and further snow falls left 0.5 inch of snow on the dales during monday [ with drifts in places ] â€" so i consulted with tim regarding " will we get up masongill lane " ? â€" as I suspected he would not bring the landrover due to fuel costs

weather forcasts were consulted - and we waited for updates â€" a chat on farcebook and the conclusion - MEH ! - we will be ok â€" lets do it

roll forward to tuesday morning - i arose realy - and double checked gear - and tims wanted list for rigging

and after breakkie and coffee - headed for ingleton - with a slight detour to avoid road closures

I managed to find a parking spot - and after a quick chat with dave about digging progress was sat in inglesport cafe @ 10:10 with A BIG  cup of coffee to get me upto speed â€" and sat down to read a caving mag expecting tim and co to be there within minuites - but â€" time ticked on and I had read the cave mag and the the walking mag â€" damm â€" where the hell are they â€" I assumed tim had my number â€" and I had signal

Oh well â€" out to the car to get tims number â€" ring ring …………………………..

“ tim wats cannot take your call “ â€" damm â€" nothing to do but wait , back inside and the move on to the climbing mag

They finally arrived at 10:45 â€" and needed breakkie  so â€" further delays ensued , till We eventually reached the water pumping station of fell road â€" and got kit squared away

Tims minions â€" were averse to carrying anything but their own oversize packed lunches [ which by the time we got to the final pitch were a soggy mess â€" the cave was ultra dry â€" but adam and dan had somehow conspited to find the meagre puddles and dunk their own luch in them â€" muppets - Tim and I had mars bars â€" we were ok ]

But eventually with insults and threat â€" tim impressed upon them the need to carry the ropes

Hint â€" the SRT fairy does NOT pre-rig all caves just for our convenience

Thus with grumbling minions â€" we set of up the fell in glorious weather

Once at the sink-hole â€" progress down the pitches was brisk â€" and with just a couple of pauses to look at stuff we hared down the rabbit hole

Down at the bottom â€" whoo hoo â€" this was my first full decent â€" as on previous trips first we abandoned the trip due to scary quantities of water on the 2nd leg of the final pitch and last year â€" I turned back at the “90 “ pitch head â€" as I was not feeling too fit

After a scramble around at low level â€" and I madde the mistake of leaving my clutter from my harness â€" stop descender , water bottle etc and a junction â€" as I assumed we were to return via the rope

But instead came back via a scramble in a rift to the mid-point of the final pitch â€" doh

Tim was still in a good mood at this point â€" so went dowen and retreved my shiney stuffs

Flapjack was eaten â€" very nice flapjack too â€" thanks dan

Then the fun and games begain â€" the ascent and de-rigging

` quotes of note ` :

mumble mumble " WHAT THE FOOK ARE YOU DOING " â€" repeated at several key points

mumble mumble “ I will cut of your < cencored > and shove it up < cencoreds >

mumble mumble “ stop fooking about “

“ PRUSSICK FASTER “

I just laughed

once the obstacle of the stink pot pitchead was cleared â€" I just set off up rope , leaving tim to cat-herd his minions

i emerged first - to bask in a glorious sunset colours - and tim came up hot on my heels this bliss was quickly replaced by sitting in the dark

tim added further ripe phrases to the profanisaurus as his minions inched â€" literally inched up the gulley

finally â€" in darkness every was one out â€" except tims deviation sling which was dismissed as “ a piece of insitu tat “ by our  reluctant “ de-riggers “

tim promptly invented a new litany of insults as we headed back off the fell

back on fell lane â€" kit was de-bagged and returned to its rightfull owners [ except tims sling â€" which still sits abandoned on the gulley pitch deviation ]

all faf over with , and once back in warm dry clothes â€" we realised it was ` beer o-clock ` and headed for the marston arms [ only pub I knew in a sensible range ] for obligitary beer - tim and co ordered food - as they had a < 2hour drive a head of them

after one pint - i abandoned them - still argueing - and headed home for a monster stir fry

absolutly bonkers trip - thanks very much for inviting me chaps


- no - there are no pictures - but tim go-proed the decent [ how long this will take to edit is anyones guess :P - still waiting for cwmorthin pics

enjoy yourwait for the pics, i'm just off out to meet him while we take somemore pics he wont ever get around to posting.

Top write up andy.

Yer keep waiting!

Dan. just in at 2am from tonights little mission. Dans (the other moaning dan) even slower than me taking photos. but in fairness he only bought hi camera today and did ok. Adams hands are burnt to bits from burning wirewool. funny as fook. Just one more shot adam......ahhhh my hands! Followed by actual feeble little tears.

[quote="timwatts" post=15701]Top write up andy.

Yer keep waiting!

Dan. just in at 2am from tonights little mission. Dans (the other moaning dan) even slower than me taking photos. but in fairness he only bought hi camera today and did ok. Adams hands are burnt to bits from burning wirewool. funny as fook. Just one more shot adam......ahhhh my hands! Followed by actual feeble little tears.[/quote]

 hey bollock boy where's the ice climbing video

thats also on the to-do list.

:-O